Working out the wireless.

So my last blog entry, gave me some great inspiration on ideas for this blog, it's going to sound stupid when i say it out loud, or in this case write it out. So the inspiration is - happenings from my life. tah dah! This entry, like the last one, is about something that happened... i'm going to stick to the format i used last time.

Let me first introduce the topic to you, about 10 months ago i convinced my mom that it was absolutely necessary to set up a wireless connection in our house. She caved, and we bought a router. But that wasn't in time, for our terribly ancient PC died... i mean literally died because towards the end you had switch it on, wait for it to heat up a bit, switch it off and switch it on again, and finally, one day, it just stopped switching on! Do not judge me by this, i'm a gadget freak it is my parents who keep dragging me down into the stone age. If we have time i'll tell about how long it took me to get them to buy a DVD player! Back to the point, with the PC gone, we (my dad and i) didn't have a computer till my mom bought a new laptop and gave us her old one and the broadband would need to be configured on that before anything could be done about the wireless. 

Eventually we did get the old laptop but one small hitch, the CD drive didn't work (i seriously don't know what my parents do to abuse technology so much!). CD drive not working meant no installation of wireless software. If you're tech savy, you must be thinking "Well use your mom's new laptop to configure wireless and then everything is ok!". I tried that. But the new laptop needed to have broadband configured on it before i could setup the wireless. I'm sorry if i'm confusing you but try and stay with me. 

So in between all the fights i have with my parents about everything, i kept nagging my mom about the wireless. She finally got the computer guy from her office. Finally was today by the way. He came today, ten months later. Well he configured the wireless. Two thumbs up! Then my dad came in.

Dad: What's happening? (you'd think we were setting up the wireless in absolute secrecy)

Me: *look of frustration*

Computer Guy: Yea, it's working now, see.

Dad: Will it work if we take the computer to another room? (i kid you not. He asked this)

Me: Yea!!!

Computer Guy: Yea, yea... it's a wireless signal which is given out and any computer with wireless capabilities will be able to access it. But we've put this complex password so not just anyone can crack it.

Me: Ok good! Thanks

Dad: (not really getting it) yea! thank you!

Exit Computer Guy.

Dad: (opens a browser) It's not working.

Me: Of course you'd say that. (looks at the screen) Get up let me try.

Dad: This was a bad idea it's not working and the guy has gone.

Me: Ssshhhh!

It took me about 10 minutes to figure out what was wrong. After i figured it out

Me: You're not allowed to use this connection, go somewhere else and surf the net.

Dad: What? You found out what's wrong?

Me: YEA!!! The phone line wasn't connected!!!

Dad: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (he was in splits!)

Me: You better be finding another computer to use, i'm not letting you use this one, all your negative talk about technology and fatalistic attitude about the wireless.

Dad: Ah phoo! Go eat your lunch.

After that, he spent an hour not using the laptop in the study, where we usually keep it, but at the Dining Table.

 

Scene from what happens during an important football match...

So this actually happened last night during the second half of the Chelsea vs. Arsenal FA Cup Semi-Final, and it took me alot of time to see the comical side of it, so we're going to go through this like it's a script of a play. The characters are Gooner, Dad, Mom and T.V (T.V refers to the commentators actually!). There may be discrepancies in the time and I've left alot of details related to the match, but that's not the point of the post. Also, if you are a Chelsea fan, don't take it too hard! I was really really upset, basically you all need to see the funny side to Gooner's exasperation and anger! You're supposed to see it as over-dramatic, because that's where the humour lies. Here goes:

Gooner: I hope Arsenal wins, I hope, I hope, I hope!

Dad: (grumbles while half asleep)

Gooner: Pay attention this is an important match

Dad: Go to SLEEP!

Gooner: Are you crazy??? NO WAY!

T.V: A bit of a slow start to this second half

Gooner: Come on! Score! Score! Score!

Many minutes pass by and nothing terribly great happens, Gooner keeps messaging friends who are also watching the match.

Dad: Go to sleep!

Gooner: (shouts) NO!

Mom comes stumbling in, also half asleep

Mom: Who's losing?

Gooner: (irritated) Of course you'd say that, now Chelsea will score and Arsenal will lose and then you'll say "Oh! Arsenal is losing, why do you support a losing team?"

Dad: Hahahaha! Oof you're so fatalistic and superstitious!

Mom is not bothered and walks away.

10 mins later...

T.V: Drogba scores!!! Surely this will send Chelsea to the FA Cup Finals!!!

Gooner: (in absolute despair) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Dad: That was a stupid thing on the part of the goalie!

Gooner: (screams into cushion) AAAAARRRRGGGGHHH!!! Why does this happen to my team???????

Dad: I'm telling you... It's because they're scared to win anything!

Gooner: (super mad now) THEY ARE NOT SCARED TO WIN! GOD! I'M TELLING YOU! I ADOPT A HARDY-IAN WORLD VIEW ON ARSENAL!

Dad: And what is that?

Gooner: Whenever Arsenal is doing well... (looks up at the cieling and shouts) SOME GREATER BEING DECIDES TO PUSH THEM DOWN!!! IT'S ALWAYS LIKE THIS!

Gooner continues her rants on SMS to her friends. Various messages are: "I'll kill Lukas Fabianski", "Arsenal totally deserved this", "God I hate Drogba", "I hope Chelsea BURN and SUFFER in Champions League!". Meanwhile, Arsenal have a corner and after three unsuccessful attempts... no equaliser. Drogba, Toure and Silvestre crashed into each other during the course of attempts...

Gooner: (jumps to her feet and starts screaming at the T.V) I hope you get a brain haemorrhage!

Dad: (disapprovingly) What a nasty thing to say! There is time, don't be fatalistic!

Gooner: Time isn't good enough! They're going to lose because everyone hates Arsenal!!! I HATE Drogba!

Dad: He just did his job and you're team's goalie didn't!

Gooner: NO!!! THIS IS A BIGGER ISSUE! DROGBA ALWAYS RUINS EVERYTHING!!! CARLING CUP, THIS... (Gooner has run out of examples... she proceeds to shout at the T.V with a great deal of gesturing) I hope Barcelona KILL you all! I hope they crush you like bugs and not just any player, I hope it's Thierry Henry who crushes you, WHY? Coz he's an ex-Arsenal player. I hope he scores three goals and you'll never know what hit you!!!  

T.V: And the whistle is blown, so Chelsea go through to the FA Cup Final after an eventful game of football against Arsenal. Wenger is not too happy about that...

Gooner: (shouting at the T.V) NO SHIT SHERLOCK WHAT DO YOU EXPECT HIM TO BE? DANCING AROUND THE FIELD WITH JOY OVER LOSING!!!

Dad: Go to sleep!

Gooner: Fine!!! 

Gooner is still messaging (sympathising) friends!

Gooner: Oh mom! This is all your fault, if you hadn't come and asked who's losing then they'd have been FINE!!!

Dad: She's asleep and don't be ridiculous

Gooner grumbles, goes to her room and shuts the door.

THE END.

India: Living up to Galbraith's words!

Last Thursday or Friday I submitted a voter's registration form and hopefully by the 3rd I'll be a registered voter in the world's largest democracy! If you haven't gone through the process, you wouldn't know this, but registering to vote instills a righteous need to uphold the democratic values of the country, you feel immensely responsible to vote for the right person! I'm not being over-dramatic, this is EXACTLY what I felt, my dad says he went through the same thing so I'm guessing it's quite universal!

Now, due to this compulsion to voter right I began to pay more attention to party manifestos and what each prospective government would do if they came to power. It went to such an extent that I argued with my dad that i wouldn't vote for a party but the person from our constituency whom I thought would be best for the job. 

Don't understand? Let me take you through it - in India there are SEVERAL parties there are just too many, but generally when a government is formed it's a coalition of smaller parties with either one of the two biggest parties in the country - The Congress and The Bharatiya Janata Party (BJP) so usually voters will vote for one of these two OR for instance in some states the smaller parties are more popular, like the Shiv Sena in Maharashtra and CPI-M in West Bengal and so on. But the way people get elected to Parliament is by winning in a particular constituency. So no matter what their party is whoever wins is answerable to that constituency, and represents that constituency's interests in the Parliament. So surely you should choose the best candidate for your constituency and not according to what party they belong to!

Anyway... moving on. About two days ago my dad and i were watching the news and the present Prime Minister, Manmohan Singh, was basically doing a little campaigning. He is from the Congress and the Head of the party is Sonia Gandhi, and she was there too. Now alot of people believe that Manmohan Singh is Sonia Gandhi's puppet. I'm not going into details, it's such a dramatic political drama really! So after Mr. Singh was done with his speech the audience was allowed to ask questions. One of the questions was addressed to Mrs. Gandhi, it was: Since the fall out with CPI-M if the party were to ask you for help in forming a government would you agree? (those weren't the exact words but something like that.)

To fully understand this we need to go back a few months. The UPA government was formed by a coalition of the Congress, the CPI-M and some other parties. A few months ago the BJP which was the opposition in the parliament passed a no confidence motion against the government and the CPI-M sided with them. In the end the motion fell through and the UPA made it to the general elections.

Back to the question. Mrs Gandhi's response was - I can't comment on post poll arrangements. I told my dad: if i were to form the government, on principle i wouldn't seek the help of a party that pulled the rug from under my feet. My dad laughed and said: what were the words you used that they wouldnt. I looked at him puzzled and he said: ON PRINCIPLE.

That was the pill in needed to cure my need to uphold democratic values. Here's where J Galbraith's word's come in, he once said that India was a "functioning anarchy". There is no phrase that can beat that on describing India crisply, effectively and right on target.

Not your puzzle to fix...

For whomsoever it may concern,

It's about time that you learn,

You've pushed me beyond the limit.

Your eternal criticism has lost its market, 

You've lost your only constant customer,

The one person about whom you could bicker.

Indeed you did see, in me, some good qualities. 

Yet, the bad always outweighed these.

Never suppressing that insatiable greed,

Of your mean streak, and sadistic need!

I shouted, screamed and protested

But now I throw my hands up - it's just not worth it!

You can go on about my anti-social ways,

Scruffy, faded clothes and about me wasting days.

I'm ignoring all this crap from now on

Just counting down the days till I am gone.

I'm not your little puzzle to fix

Good luck finding someone on whom to pick!

What I Thought Of Oscars '09

It sucked! The one year i was able to watch the oscars from start to finish without having to get ready for school and it sucked! I was totally disappointed and i'll tell you why:

1. Best Film: Why wasn't The Dark Knight recognised as worthy contender for this award??? That movie had everything you could POSSIBLY ASK for in a movie! I know people who normally don't watch Action movies who loved this movie! Slumdog winning is OKAY! It's a good movie, it isn't brilliant and i certainly don't think it deserves such an accolade but then again movies like "Shakespeare In Love" and "Titanic" have won it, so that doesn't say much about the voters!

2.Best Actor: I haven't seen The Wrestler, but i still think Mickey Rourke deserved to win. He swept every other award (except for S.A.G) and SEAN PENN's ALREADY GOT AN OSCAR! Give it to someone else! Yes Sean Penn is an awful lot like Harvey Milk in his mannerisms, but that doesn't beat someone overcoming so many obstacles, making a comeback in the industry and winning every other award! That's a slap on the face!

3. Best Actress: Oh my god! It was so cliched!!! Before the show everyone said Kate Winslet would win and give one of her breathless speeches. Guess what? That's exaclty what happened! Okay, yes she deserves an Oscar, sucks to be nominated 6 times and not win even once. But look at Peter O'Toole, 8 nominations (correct me if i'm wrong) and not one award! The Reader isn't great and i wasn't particularly dazzled by her stoic, proud Nazi German character!

4. Best Foreign Film: Ok so i thought Waltz With Bashir would win. It won at the Golden Globes, and most people thought it would win! Wiki it and read about the movie! It sounds really interesting! I honestly don't know how a movie about a retired musician who becomes an undertaker beats Waltz With Bashir!

Lastly, to all my fellow Indians who are so ecstatic by the Slumdog sweep! Dudes! This is not India's night! The screenplay writer is British, the director is british, the producer is british, the main protagonist is british, i believe that makes it a BRITISH movie! Don't be so delusional! It's ridiculous the way everyone is hyping this win out here in India! You should actually be ashamed of the fact that it took a foreigner to make such honest depiction of India!

Delhi 6 Disaster!

It's quite clear from the title i've given this post:

a) I'm talking about the latest Rakyesh Omprakash Mehra movie - Delhi 6

b) I didn't like it!

You don't have to agree with me, but this is what i think of the movie! In a word - r.a.n.d.o.m! The first half of the movie is just several scenes put together haphazardly, it's like a 4 yr doing a jigsaw puzzle with the pieces of ten seperate puzzles! I honestly thought i'd lost all possible comprehension of hindi, because i just didn't know what was going on! But i found solace in the fact that my friend, a 'Delhiite' who also came to watch the movie didn't gather much from it either.

After the intermission things just got worse. Partly because i stopped trying figure out what was going on and partly because you cannot have a two and a half hour film which addresses its issues in the last half an hour! Abhishek Bachchan's new found patriotism, the sudden outbreak hindu-muslim riots in this happy peaceful neighbourhood and a new romance blossoming cannot be dealt with properly in half an hour! In my opinion the film lost massive credulity with the ominous "Kaala Bhandar" who kept sabotaging the neighbourhood's attempts to enact the Ramayan. This just didn't make ANY sense, though it provided for some humour in the beggining! The story was just poorly woven. All in all, it was lika 'Rang De Basanti' was added to 'Swades' and then thrown against a wall to create 'Delhi 6'!

Of course there is a light at the end of this tunnel. A.R Rahman's music is excellent, it's way better than the Slumdog Millionaire score. "Dilli 6" is my personal favourite. The score combined with excellent cinematography is what saves the movie from falling into an abyss! It's clear from the beautiful shots of Delhi that Omprakash Mehra's heart was in the right place when he was making this movie, but it sadly lacked proper execution! Watch the movie for the cinematography, if you're from Delhi or have been to those parts of Delhi, those scenes will take your breath away!

Rating: 2/5 (wait till it comes on TV, it's not worth paying Rs. 100)

Fertile Myrtle...

Hi! It's been too long! 

So I was looking for inspiration because I really need to keep this blog alive!

Last night I did think of something to write, but I can't remember what it was. I went driving with my dad which has scared me to bits!

Anyway... I was reading the newspaper about 20 minutes ago and this really CRAZY story stood out from the rest! It was just down right W-H-A-C-K-O!

The article was one about a women giving birth to octuplets. Ok that's not the freaky part, the freaky part is the fact that she has SIX other kids! SIX!!! 

Six + Eight = FOURTEEN!!!

Not only that, she lives with her parents in a three bedroom house. 

(Fourteen kids + Three adults) / Three bedroom house = One hell of a population density and a hell of a cramped space!

It doesn't end there, the women's mom is really happy to have so many grandchildren. Yea! Wait till she has start changing 8 diapers and feeding 14 growing kids!

The women is a single mom. Dear god! She's a single mom. Someone needs to track down the DAD(S) and atleast palm off some of those kids on him/them, infact if it's just one guy he can take seven and she'll take seven! Or if there are seven dads (0ne for each of the six and one for the octuplets) then each dad can take their kid and an octuplet free! Honestly this sounds like something out of a movie!!!

You must think I'm a cruel, heartless person. But COME ON! It's ridiculous! It supposedly costs 2 million dollars to raise 14 children, just raise them, with food, clothing and education! I dont think this woman has that kind of money! Infact, the article also said that at an early stage the doctors asked her if she'd like reduce the number of kids growing in her and she said NO! I'm not cynical or archaic in my outlook. She can't possibly give equal attention to all 14 kids, some of them are going to gravely suffer from this situation and that's what I am against!

 All I can say is that somebody is really really STUPID! She should get an award for most FERTILE IDIOT in the world!

It's a new year

Yea... this post is WAY delayed! :)

Sorry about that!

Well HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! It still counts because we're not even 1/12th through the new year! 

I assure you I'll have more to write post this Saturday when I'm writing my SAT's.

So till then...

Chao! :)