Scene from what happens during an important football match...

So this actually happened last night during the second half of the Chelsea vs. Arsenal FA Cup Semi-Final, and it took me alot of time to see the comical side of it, so we're going to go through this like it's a script of a play. The characters are Gooner, Dad, Mom and T.V (T.V refers to the commentators actually!). There may be discrepancies in the time and I've left alot of details related to the match, but that's not the point of the post. Also, if you are a Chelsea fan, don't take it too hard! I was really really upset, basically you all need to see the funny side to Gooner's exasperation and anger! You're supposed to see it as over-dramatic, because that's where the humour lies. Here goes:

Gooner: I hope Arsenal wins, I hope, I hope, I hope!

Dad: (grumbles while half asleep)

Gooner: Pay attention this is an important match

Dad: Go to SLEEP!

Gooner: Are you crazy??? NO WAY!

T.V: A bit of a slow start to this second half

Gooner: Come on! Score! Score! Score!

Many minutes pass by and nothing terribly great happens, Gooner keeps messaging friends who are also watching the match.

Dad: Go to sleep!

Gooner: (shouts) NO!

Mom comes stumbling in, also half asleep

Mom: Who's losing?

Gooner: (irritated) Of course you'd say that, now Chelsea will score and Arsenal will lose and then you'll say "Oh! Arsenal is losing, why do you support a losing team?"

Dad: Hahahaha! Oof you're so fatalistic and superstitious!

Mom is not bothered and walks away.

10 mins later...

T.V: Drogba scores!!! Surely this will send Chelsea to the FA Cup Finals!!!

Gooner: (in absolute despair) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Dad: That was a stupid thing on the part of the goalie!

Gooner: (screams into cushion) AAAAARRRRGGGGHHH!!! Why does this happen to my team???????

Dad: I'm telling you... It's because they're scared to win anything!

Gooner: (super mad now) THEY ARE NOT SCARED TO WIN! GOD! I'M TELLING YOU! I ADOPT A HARDY-IAN WORLD VIEW ON ARSENAL!

Dad: And what is that?

Gooner: Whenever Arsenal is doing well... (looks up at the cieling and shouts) SOME GREATER BEING DECIDES TO PUSH THEM DOWN!!! IT'S ALWAYS LIKE THIS!

Gooner continues her rants on SMS to her friends. Various messages are: "I'll kill Lukas Fabianski", "Arsenal totally deserved this", "God I hate Drogba", "I hope Chelsea BURN and SUFFER in Champions League!". Meanwhile, Arsenal have a corner and after three unsuccessful attempts... no equaliser. Drogba, Toure and Silvestre crashed into each other during the course of attempts...

Gooner: (jumps to her feet and starts screaming at the T.V) I hope you get a brain haemorrhage!

Dad: (disapprovingly) What a nasty thing to say! There is time, don't be fatalistic!

Gooner: Time isn't good enough! They're going to lose because everyone hates Arsenal!!! I HATE Drogba!

Dad: He just did his job and you're team's goalie didn't!

Gooner: NO!!! THIS IS A BIGGER ISSUE! DROGBA ALWAYS RUINS EVERYTHING!!! CARLING CUP, THIS... (Gooner has run out of examples... she proceeds to shout at the T.V with a great deal of gesturing) I hope Barcelona KILL you all! I hope they crush you like bugs and not just any player, I hope it's Thierry Henry who crushes you, WHY? Coz he's an ex-Arsenal player. I hope he scores three goals and you'll never know what hit you!!!  

T.V: And the whistle is blown, so Chelsea go through to the FA Cup Final after an eventful game of football against Arsenal. Wenger is not too happy about that...

Gooner: (shouting at the T.V) NO SHIT SHERLOCK WHAT DO YOU EXPECT HIM TO BE? DANCING AROUND THE FIELD WITH JOY OVER LOSING!!!

Dad: Go to sleep!

Gooner: Fine!!! 

Gooner is still messaging (sympathising) friends!

Gooner: Oh mom! This is all your fault, if you hadn't come and asked who's losing then they'd have been FINE!!!

Dad: She's asleep and don't be ridiculous

Gooner grumbles, goes to her room and shuts the door.

THE END.