Working out the wireless.

So my last blog entry, gave me some great inspiration on ideas for this blog, it's going to sound stupid when i say it out loud, or in this case write it out. So the inspiration is - happenings from my life. tah dah! This entry, like the last one, is about something that happened... i'm going to stick to the format i used last time.

Let me first introduce the topic to you, about 10 months ago i convinced my mom that it was absolutely necessary to set up a wireless connection in our house. She caved, and we bought a router. But that wasn't in time, for our terribly ancient PC died... i mean literally died because towards the end you had switch it on, wait for it to heat up a bit, switch it off and switch it on again, and finally, one day, it just stopped switching on! Do not judge me by this, i'm a gadget freak it is my parents who keep dragging me down into the stone age. If we have time i'll tell about how long it took me to get them to buy a DVD player! Back to the point, with the PC gone, we (my dad and i) didn't have a computer till my mom bought a new laptop and gave us her old one and the broadband would need to be configured on that before anything could be done about the wireless. 

Eventually we did get the old laptop but one small hitch, the CD drive didn't work (i seriously don't know what my parents do to abuse technology so much!). CD drive not working meant no installation of wireless software. If you're tech savy, you must be thinking "Well use your mom's new laptop to configure wireless and then everything is ok!". I tried that. But the new laptop needed to have broadband configured on it before i could setup the wireless. I'm sorry if i'm confusing you but try and stay with me. 

So in between all the fights i have with my parents about everything, i kept nagging my mom about the wireless. She finally got the computer guy from her office. Finally was today by the way. He came today, ten months later. Well he configured the wireless. Two thumbs up! Then my dad came in.

Dad: What's happening? (you'd think we were setting up the wireless in absolute secrecy)

Me: *look of frustration*

Computer Guy: Yea, it's working now, see.

Dad: Will it work if we take the computer to another room? (i kid you not. He asked this)

Me: Yea!!!

Computer Guy: Yea, yea... it's a wireless signal which is given out and any computer with wireless capabilities will be able to access it. But we've put this complex password so not just anyone can crack it.

Me: Ok good! Thanks

Dad: (not really getting it) yea! thank you!

Exit Computer Guy.

Dad: (opens a browser) It's not working.

Me: Of course you'd say that. (looks at the screen) Get up let me try.

Dad: This was a bad idea it's not working and the guy has gone.

Me: Ssshhhh!

It took me about 10 minutes to figure out what was wrong. After i figured it out

Me: You're not allowed to use this connection, go somewhere else and surf the net.

Dad: What? You found out what's wrong?

Me: YEA!!! The phone line wasn't connected!!!

Dad: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (he was in splits!)

Me: You better be finding another computer to use, i'm not letting you use this one, all your negative talk about technology and fatalistic attitude about the wireless.

Dad: Ah phoo! Go eat your lunch.

After that, he spent an hour not using the laptop in the study, where we usually keep it, but at the Dining Table.

 

Scene from what happens during an important football match...

So this actually happened last night during the second half of the Chelsea vs. Arsenal FA Cup Semi-Final, and it took me alot of time to see the comical side of it, so we're going to go through this like it's a script of a play. The characters are Gooner, Dad, Mom and T.V (T.V refers to the commentators actually!). There may be discrepancies in the time and I've left alot of details related to the match, but that's not the point of the post. Also, if you are a Chelsea fan, don't take it too hard! I was really really upset, basically you all need to see the funny side to Gooner's exasperation and anger! You're supposed to see it as over-dramatic, because that's where the humour lies. Here goes:

Gooner: I hope Arsenal wins, I hope, I hope, I hope!

Dad: (grumbles while half asleep)

Gooner: Pay attention this is an important match

Dad: Go to SLEEP!

Gooner: Are you crazy??? NO WAY!

T.V: A bit of a slow start to this second half

Gooner: Come on! Score! Score! Score!

Many minutes pass by and nothing terribly great happens, Gooner keeps messaging friends who are also watching the match.

Dad: Go to sleep!

Gooner: (shouts) NO!

Mom comes stumbling in, also half asleep

Mom: Who's losing?

Gooner: (irritated) Of course you'd say that, now Chelsea will score and Arsenal will lose and then you'll say "Oh! Arsenal is losing, why do you support a losing team?"

Dad: Hahahaha! Oof you're so fatalistic and superstitious!

Mom is not bothered and walks away.

10 mins later...

T.V: Drogba scores!!! Surely this will send Chelsea to the FA Cup Finals!!!

Gooner: (in absolute despair) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Dad: That was a stupid thing on the part of the goalie!

Gooner: (screams into cushion) AAAAARRRRGGGGHHH!!! Why does this happen to my team???????

Dad: I'm telling you... It's because they're scared to win anything!

Gooner: (super mad now) THEY ARE NOT SCARED TO WIN! GOD! I'M TELLING YOU! I ADOPT A HARDY-IAN WORLD VIEW ON ARSENAL!

Dad: And what is that?

Gooner: Whenever Arsenal is doing well... (looks up at the cieling and shouts) SOME GREATER BEING DECIDES TO PUSH THEM DOWN!!! IT'S ALWAYS LIKE THIS!

Gooner continues her rants on SMS to her friends. Various messages are: "I'll kill Lukas Fabianski", "Arsenal totally deserved this", "God I hate Drogba", "I hope Chelsea BURN and SUFFER in Champions League!". Meanwhile, Arsenal have a corner and after three unsuccessful attempts... no equaliser. Drogba, Toure and Silvestre crashed into each other during the course of attempts...

Gooner: (jumps to her feet and starts screaming at the T.V) I hope you get a brain haemorrhage!

Dad: (disapprovingly) What a nasty thing to say! There is time, don't be fatalistic!

Gooner: Time isn't good enough! They're going to lose because everyone hates Arsenal!!! I HATE Drogba!

Dad: He just did his job and you're team's goalie didn't!

Gooner: NO!!! THIS IS A BIGGER ISSUE! DROGBA ALWAYS RUINS EVERYTHING!!! CARLING CUP, THIS... (Gooner has run out of examples... she proceeds to shout at the T.V with a great deal of gesturing) I hope Barcelona KILL you all! I hope they crush you like bugs and not just any player, I hope it's Thierry Henry who crushes you, WHY? Coz he's an ex-Arsenal player. I hope he scores three goals and you'll never know what hit you!!!  

T.V: And the whistle is blown, so Chelsea go through to the FA Cup Final after an eventful game of football against Arsenal. Wenger is not too happy about that...

Gooner: (shouting at the T.V) NO SHIT SHERLOCK WHAT DO YOU EXPECT HIM TO BE? DANCING AROUND THE FIELD WITH JOY OVER LOSING!!!

Dad: Go to sleep!

Gooner: Fine!!! 

Gooner is still messaging (sympathising) friends!

Gooner: Oh mom! This is all your fault, if you hadn't come and asked who's losing then they'd have been FINE!!!

Dad: She's asleep and don't be ridiculous

Gooner grumbles, goes to her room and shuts the door.

THE END.